Texty: Carly Simon. The Bedroom Tapes. We Your Dearest Friends.

We, your dearest friends
Are having dinner without you
We're witty and we use it to be vicious
In just another minute
We'll laughing about you
To the untrained eye
It wouldn't look suspicious

We, your dearest friends
Don't really care if you have needs
Your hopes and dreams
Are trivial by your standards
We make fun of how you sing
And then we imitate your speech
And the stupid things
You say we like to slander

But we won't reel you out too far
'Cause after all, we need you for
Our ongoing quest

We've bonded here in faithlessness
To undermine your happiness
Toying with your paranoia
Everything you do annoys us
It annoys us

We remember how
You bought us all those gifts
You liked to make us think
You were so generous
Be careful in the future
Of everything you say and do
`Cause it can and will be used
Against you by us

We your dearest friends
Judge you "guilty"
Here and now
Of thinking you're a star
When it's all over
Nobody wants you
And we the least of all
It's been a long time since
You had those famous lovers

But we won't reel you out too far
`Cause after all, we need you for
Our ongoing quest

We've bonded here
In faithlessness
To undermine your happiness
Toying with your paranoia
Everything you do annoys us
(it annoys the hell out of us)

It's not the straw
No, it's the final straw you'll say
Finally you've grown a sturdy backbone
There'll be no invitation to
Your rocky coast this year
Your queenly voice will
Ice us down the telephone

You'll never guess who's joining us
For brandy later on
That's right, it's your bete noir from hell
That's who
Are you worried we might spill the beans
Are you worried we might tell
About your little visit to the bin when
You were cuckoo?

But we won't reel you out too far
`Cause after all, we need you for
Our ongoing quest

We've bonded here in faithlessness
To undermine your happiness
Toying with your paranoia
Everything you do annoys us
It annoys us

Toying with your paranoia

You have an unforgiveable personality
Unforgettable, yes
We were so happy once in the Garden of
The Finzi-Continis
Oh, yes we were
Never more, never more
Here comes the waiter
We'll just put it on your house charge
You'll never know the difference
Never notice