Texty: John Prine. Fair And Square. Safety Joe.

Well, he never got too lonely
And he never got too sad
But he never got too happy
And that's what's just too bad
He never reached much further
Than his lonely arms would go
He wore a seatbelt around his heart
And they called him Safety Joe

Chorus:
Safety Joe
Safety Joe
What do you say?
What do you know?
If you don't loosen up the buckle
On your heart heart and start to chuckle
You're gonna die of boredom
Safety Joe

Now Joe he lived in Baltimore
'Cause New York was too darn fast
He sometimes went down to Washington
Just to view our nation's past
He never ate his vegetables
'Cause they were just too darn chewy
And he never climbed much higher
Than the arch in old St. Louis

Repeat Chorus:

Joe gradually grew meaner
By not changin' his demeanor
But he never did nothin'
Too much for too long
Therefore his life never got much richer
Than the day they took that picture
In his birthday suit on the day that he was born.

Repeat Chorus

Well, you're gonna die of boredom
Safety Joe

That's golden