Texty: Weird Al Yankovic. Title of The Song in Question.

Since you've been gone
Well, I feel like I've been chewing on tinfoil
Since you've been gone
It's like I got a great big mouthful of cod liver oil
Oh well, I'm feelin like I stuck my hand
Inside a blender and turned it on
You know, I've been in a buttload of pain
Since you've been gone

(since you've been gone)
I couldn't feel any worse if you dropped
A two-ton bowling ball on my toes
(since you've been gone)
It couldn't hurt any more if you shoved

A red-hot cactus up my nose

Since you've been gone
Well, it feels like I'm getting tetanus shots every day
Since you've been gone
It's like I've got an ice cream headache that won't go away
Ever since that day you left me
I've been so miserable, my dear
I feel almost as bad as I did
When you were still here